WE ARE NOT OUR HAIR (press play on the Indie Arie song in your head)

*waves* Hey Yall!!

How's everybody doing?? I hope you are reading this post in good graces.

I have a confession (sigh) dont judge me guys....but I'm overly obbessed with hair, like overly.

Everytime I see someone, the very first thing I do is examine their hair. SORRY, I can't help it.

I think my obbession started in my younger years when my mother would get comments from people along the lines of " your daughter is so cute and has really thick pretty hair"

From then on, I became self- conscious about my hair and til this day my hair kind of dictates my mood,if its styled, I feel GREAT>>>and if its not then, well I'm not as great.

Shallow, I know....but this is the way I've been programmed to think, this the way alot of woman, young ladies, little girls are programmed to think.

Society (the same society I told to grow up in the last post) has gotten us black females to the point where we think long silky hair or soft curly hair aka"good hair" is what we need in order to be accepted. Think I'm lying?..... beauty supply stores cant keep the Remy weave on the shelves. Our women want to do everything possible to live up to society's idea of beauty, which for us women of the darker denomination, is exotic or mixed looking. It's not even enough for us to just be beautifully black anymore.

WE must learn to love ourselves from the inside out not outside in, no matter what anyone says. We come in soooo many different skin tones. WE are so beautiful.

Lets take a stand against society and tell it WE ARE NOT OUR HAIR and you wont continue to make me think I am!

kinky,curly,nappy= happy :)

PEACE

Double Stuffed Double Standards

I was watching Law and Order SVU the other day and on this particular episode there was an African man who had three wives. One of the wives killed the other wife and while getting investigated about the murder the wife made a comment along the lines of "In Mozambique women can have as many husbands as she wants"....

Huh? (scooby voice)

So me being me, I had to research that fact. Needless to say, I found nothing on that...maybe I didn't search hard enough. Or maybe...no, I definitely got distracted by the number of cultures that allow polygamy. I was astonished. I knew it existed but...man.

In African cultures it is still allowed. Men can have as many wives as they want because in their culture the more woman and children a man has the wealthier he is considered to be.

hmmm...interesting right? Stay with me.

Woman on the other hand, aren't allowed more then one husband, even if their first husband dies. Adultery on the woman's end, is punishable by death, where as its consider OK for a man.

So, my fellow friends, here's my issue....whats with these double standards?

They have existed for entirely too long. Though polygamy is against the law in America, you would really think it wasn't. It's OK for a man to have more then one girl. But if a female has more then one mate...she's consider to a hoe. When a man acts foolishly in public, its accepted and blown off with a simple, " he's just being a man". When a woman mirrors the same actions, she is, and I'll say it as nice as possible, considered unlady like.


Seriously society...grow up.

Its time for a change. Now I'm not saying I want to act out all willy-nilly or lay down with whom ever I meet at the club, But I am saying that I don't want to be judged through the eye of double standards. If you must judge at all, judge me on my character, do my actions reflect the person I desire to be or the person I say I am? If not by all means, call me on it...but if not don't hit me with the "you can't act that way because you are a female". I'm not having it and I most definitely won't entertain it.

Just a little rant, but please take heed to it.

peace

THE CONVERSTATION = 2 THUMBS UP

If you havent read "The Converstation" by Hill Harper... YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO!! I recommened it to any black couple, any single black man, any single black female. It is truely an eye-opener. Read guys....so we can talk about it and make a connection.

"Its Love" (jill scott voice)

I have no musical talent what so ever. Im lucky if I hum on the right tune. lol. But i know good music when i hear it. In light of Erykah Badu's new single, Window Seat, from her new album, New Amerykah Part Two (Return of Ankh), I wanted to show a little love to the sista's that have helped me get through this show we call LIFE.

Ex-Factor,On and On, Sweetest Thing, Come See Me, Golden, Nothing Even Matters, Next-Lifetime, Back In the Day, Zion, Crown Royal.....these are my songs just to name a few. Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu, and Jill Scoot give life to the words they sing. These are 3 beautiful black women that embrace their culture and keep music alive and might I add they come with some of THEE dopest lyrics ever.

The man that knows something

Knows that he knows nothing at all

Does it seem colder in yo summer time

And hotter in yo fall

If we were made in His image

Then call us by our names

Most intellects do not Believe in God,

But they fear us just the same. -Erykah Badu, On and On

Your background it ain't squeaky clean shit

Sometimes we all got to swim upstream

You ain't no saint, we all are sinners

But you put your good foot down and make your soul a winner - Jill Scott, Long Walk.

It took me a little while to discover

Wolves in sheep coats who pretend to be lovers

Men who lack conscience will even lie to themselves,

A friend once said, and I found to be true

That everyday people, they lie to God too

So what makes you think, that they won't lie to you - Lauryn Hill, Forgive Them Father.

I wish all music could speak to my soul like these ladies music does. I have been up and I have been down, but regardless of whats going on, I can turn on my "real music" playlist and chill to the soulful sounds of Hill, Scott, and Badu.

p.s......lauryn!!!!!! come back to us.

Until next time, Peace

P.S.A- STOP ACTING LIKE BOYS AND BE MEN!

And ain’t it shameful how niggas blame hoes for givin’ birth
To a baby that took two to make
Coward nigga, you a fake
How you gon look in your son’s face and turn your back?
Then go start another family dog, what type of shit is that? - J.Cole

Recall for me, if you will, the Cosby Show. The Huxtable family was the picture perfect image of the “black family”, a father who was a physician, a mother who was an attorney, and five attractive, intelligent children. They lived in a brownstone in New York, never wanting for anything. A young black girl living in welfare housing watching the Cosby Show on a small eighteen inch television straining to hear over her other six siblings wishes that she could just jump into the television and become part of the Huxtable family. To this little girl the family’s most prized possession isn’t their big beautiful home, although it would be a nice change from her small dilapidated one bedroom house, it is not the meal that Clair Huxtable fixes every night, although to that little girl it would be nice not to go to sleep hungry wondering when her next meal would be, its Heathcliff Huxtable, the father. All the young girl wants is a father, a loving caring father, who is there for her, her siblings, and her mother, a father that she knows. Unfortunately, the image of the Huxtable family does not exist in more than half of the African- American population. There are too many fathers missing in too many lives and homes of the children that they helped conceive. They have abandoned their responsibilities and because of this the foundation of the black family is weaker.

Welcome Back!!!!

Hello World, I'm Back!!! I've been gone for a minute but I have returned. As you can see I've changed things up a bit. The new blog is entitled "The Connection". Through recent converstations with my peers, I've found out that we all essentially want the same things out of life. Happiness, Love, and Success. Nothing wrong with that right?? Sure, for the most part. The problem that arises is that we seem to have an issue communicating these things to each other. I've taken on the task of being the bridge to link us together. Relationships, College, Careers, Music...whatever you are willing to talk about when I reach out to, I'm willing to write about. So join in everyone...lets make a CONNECTION.