Double Stuffed Double Standards

I was watching Law and Order SVU the other day and on this particular episode there was an African man who had three wives. One of the wives killed the other wife and while getting investigated about the murder the wife made a comment along the lines of "In Mozambique women can have as many husbands as she wants"....

Huh? (scooby voice)

So me being me, I had to research that fact. Needless to say, I found nothing on that...maybe I didn't search hard enough. Or maybe...no, I definitely got distracted by the number of cultures that allow polygamy. I was astonished. I knew it existed but...man.

In African cultures it is still allowed. Men can have as many wives as they want because in their culture the more woman and children a man has the wealthier he is considered to be.

hmmm...interesting right? Stay with me.

Woman on the other hand, aren't allowed more then one husband, even if their first husband dies. Adultery on the woman's end, is punishable by death, where as its consider OK for a man.

So, my fellow friends, here's my issue....whats with these double standards?

They have existed for entirely too long. Though polygamy is against the law in America, you would really think it wasn't. It's OK for a man to have more then one girl. But if a female has more then one mate...she's consider to a hoe. When a man acts foolishly in public, its accepted and blown off with a simple, " he's just being a man". When a woman mirrors the same actions, she is, and I'll say it as nice as possible, considered unlady like.


Seriously society...grow up.

Its time for a change. Now I'm not saying I want to act out all willy-nilly or lay down with whom ever I meet at the club, But I am saying that I don't want to be judged through the eye of double standards. If you must judge at all, judge me on my character, do my actions reflect the person I desire to be or the person I say I am? If not by all means, call me on it...but if not don't hit me with the "you can't act that way because you are a female". I'm not having it and I most definitely won't entertain it.

Just a little rant, but please take heed to it.

peace

THE CONVERSTATION = 2 THUMBS UP

If you havent read "The Converstation" by Hill Harper... YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO!! I recommened it to any black couple, any single black man, any single black female. It is truely an eye-opener. Read guys....so we can talk about it and make a connection.

"Its Love" (jill scott voice)

I have no musical talent what so ever. Im lucky if I hum on the right tune. lol. But i know good music when i hear it. In light of Erykah Badu's new single, Window Seat, from her new album, New Amerykah Part Two (Return of Ankh), I wanted to show a little love to the sista's that have helped me get through this show we call LIFE.

Ex-Factor,On and On, Sweetest Thing, Come See Me, Golden, Nothing Even Matters, Next-Lifetime, Back In the Day, Zion, Crown Royal.....these are my songs just to name a few. Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu, and Jill Scoot give life to the words they sing. These are 3 beautiful black women that embrace their culture and keep music alive and might I add they come with some of THEE dopest lyrics ever.

The man that knows something

Knows that he knows nothing at all

Does it seem colder in yo summer time

And hotter in yo fall

If we were made in His image

Then call us by our names

Most intellects do not Believe in God,

But they fear us just the same. -Erykah Badu, On and On

Your background it ain't squeaky clean shit

Sometimes we all got to swim upstream

You ain't no saint, we all are sinners

But you put your good foot down and make your soul a winner - Jill Scott, Long Walk.

It took me a little while to discover

Wolves in sheep coats who pretend to be lovers

Men who lack conscience will even lie to themselves,

A friend once said, and I found to be true

That everyday people, they lie to God too

So what makes you think, that they won't lie to you - Lauryn Hill, Forgive Them Father.

I wish all music could speak to my soul like these ladies music does. I have been up and I have been down, but regardless of whats going on, I can turn on my "real music" playlist and chill to the soulful sounds of Hill, Scott, and Badu.

p.s......lauryn!!!!!! come back to us.

Until next time, Peace

P.S.A- STOP ACTING LIKE BOYS AND BE MEN!

And ain’t it shameful how niggas blame hoes for givin’ birth
To a baby that took two to make
Coward nigga, you a fake
How you gon look in your son’s face and turn your back?
Then go start another family dog, what type of shit is that? - J.Cole

Recall for me, if you will, the Cosby Show. The Huxtable family was the picture perfect image of the “black family”, a father who was a physician, a mother who was an attorney, and five attractive, intelligent children. They lived in a brownstone in New York, never wanting for anything. A young black girl living in welfare housing watching the Cosby Show on a small eighteen inch television straining to hear over her other six siblings wishes that she could just jump into the television and become part of the Huxtable family. To this little girl the family’s most prized possession isn’t their big beautiful home, although it would be a nice change from her small dilapidated one bedroom house, it is not the meal that Clair Huxtable fixes every night, although to that little girl it would be nice not to go to sleep hungry wondering when her next meal would be, its Heathcliff Huxtable, the father. All the young girl wants is a father, a loving caring father, who is there for her, her siblings, and her mother, a father that she knows. Unfortunately, the image of the Huxtable family does not exist in more than half of the African- American population. There are too many fathers missing in too many lives and homes of the children that they helped conceive. They have abandoned their responsibilities and because of this the foundation of the black family is weaker.

Welcome Back!!!!

Hello World, I'm Back!!! I've been gone for a minute but I have returned. As you can see I've changed things up a bit. The new blog is entitled "The Connection". Through recent converstations with my peers, I've found out that we all essentially want the same things out of life. Happiness, Love, and Success. Nothing wrong with that right?? Sure, for the most part. The problem that arises is that we seem to have an issue communicating these things to each other. I've taken on the task of being the bridge to link us together. Relationships, College, Careers, Music...whatever you are willing to talk about when I reach out to, I'm willing to write about. So join in everyone...lets make a CONNECTION.

Exhale

This summer has bought about so many changes......things I never expected to happen did. I'm left feeling.....well.... a sense of contentment. I've lost alot of people unknowingly, emotionally, in the past months. If I hadn't made the decision to let them go, I would have lost myself. I guess I say all of this to say, except people for who they are, not for who you want them to be.
I find so often that people see what they want others to be, hoping and praying that if they could just CHANGE.....things would be perfect. This disease doesn't just find a host in one type of person. We have all fallen victim to it at one point in time.
I have some news that might destroy some dreams, it however, is not my intention, I just want to tell you something thats real.
You can't make some one change if they are not willing and ready to do it themselves. Sure, we all are capable of seeing a small twinkle in someone indicating that they have the ability to be a better person. But if the person you are trying to CHANGE doesn't see it in themselves or is not ready to see it, you should stop letting that small twinkle distract you from the person they really are. Except them for them and either love em' or leave em' alone.

peace

Letter to Love,

Who knew we would meet like we did. From the start it was so innocent.You were a friend of a friend, you and I were never close. Come to think about, you didn't seem to like me to much. I didn't really care to occupied with lust. I wasn't ready for you and you weren't ready for me. So for that moment a higher power let us be. Time past and my soul longed for more. Unconsicously, it longed for you. An undeniable force brought us together and our relationship grew. VULNERABLE....... that's what I was. Lust had previously taught me lesson our two. It doesn't last to long........no feelings involved, the pleasure principle is its motto ...and it's still going strong. I didn't know how to perceive you. Were you lust wrapped in the wrinkled used paper that posed as love? So many sleepless nights trying to figure us out. I came to realize that I didn't have to try with you, our feelings came naturally. You and I were one. We became "we". All doubts shattered, all questions answered. You are who you are. You posses that unconditionally,selfless type of quality. That untarnished type thing. And there is that nonjudging, listening thing you do. Ohhhh...and you are so patient and humble. You are truly amazing. I pray that everyone is blessed to one day find you and I thank God that I have you.

R.T.W